Day 5 - My Children
After I got married, I remember crying to my husband about maybe not being able to have children. I have a syndrome called PCOS (Poly-Cystic-Ovarian-Syndrome). Basically my hormones are erratic and it's difficult (usually) to conceive. A couple months later we where pregnant with Ethan. I was so happy but a little sad since I had just started a secure job as a temp going to be perminant. Tim (my husband) and I always agree that when we have kids, I would be home with them so my new job was Mommy. Little did I know how fertile I am. When he was 11 months old, we were pregnant again and found out it was a girl. I was so happy to have my girl and my boy but I wasn't expecting to add again to the family when she was 2 months old. Amazing! I am a mother of three (little one due in April 2012) when I thought I might never be. I found out that a very few percent of women with PCOS are actually MORE fertile. I guess that's me.
I am so grateful for the joy they bring me and also the pain - the pain of childbirth, the pain my heart feels when they get hurt, and the pain of my own selfishness. If you want to draw closer to God, definitely have kids! I really have to sacrifice my fleshly wants, even if they are rational things like taking a shower, to put them first because I am their mother. BUT the joy of children is amazing! When I get to see them smile and laugh to makes my day. They are such pure emotions. I am thankful.
:-) I needed to read this entry. I am trying really hard to just be thankful with what God has given me and live in that appreciation.. in the present. I got stuck for months wanting the future and it did me no good! God is soooo good and exceeds our expectations if we allow ourselves to let go of those expectations! (i don't know if this even makes sense in response to your post.. since you probably don't know what my struggles have been LoL!!) Thanks! <3 Siobhan
ReplyDelete